Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
