Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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