Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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