Acid is not a monday night drug
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
