I need help removing her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
