Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
