Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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