i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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