I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
