Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All the doctor said was why
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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