Yo dont text me then not text me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
