I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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