I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
