i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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