Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
