so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
