i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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