So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
