How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
