i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
