I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
