she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
well you can't waste a boner
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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