this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
