Please, let me fuck your mom
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
