it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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