I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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