I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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