me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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