Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
