So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
