she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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