sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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