8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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