I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
A+ Viking dick
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