I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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