oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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