because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
