so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
