You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
