You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
