So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
