would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
