Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
