If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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