I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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