and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
