i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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