you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
