you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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