people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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